Sunday, October 30, 2011

HELP! I fell for my best friend!

What to do if you fall for your best friend? How do you let him know without jeopardizing your friendship?

What about his feelings?
Confessing love to your best friend is always a stressful thing, because it can lead to different outcomes. It can turn out he likes you in this way too and he wants to give you two a chance, but maybe he only sees you as a friend. To find out, you have to reveal your feelings, but not right away. First, try to find out what his feelings for you are.

Of course you get along great but have you ever felt any sexual chemistry between you two? This does not only include secret longings but also the feeling, that he feels something more for you as well. Is he the same as ever or has he changed? The worsening of the friendship can also be a sign that one of the friends feels something more and is scared of such feelings.

Test his behavior
You have to accept the fact, that by coming clean, you are risking your friendship, because it might prove too difficult to be in love with a friend in the long run. If he still trusts you and has no difficulties talking to you about other girls and dates, he apparently is not in love with you. However, a friend, who has lately become secretive, stopped discussing other women and is perhaps turning shy, might feel like you do. Another fool-proof method is, to ask an acquaintance of yours, whom he met in passing, to find out more.

This acquaintance, must not reveal, that he knows you. He should ask your friend about a possible girlfriend and carefully try to get his opinion about you. Because a direct question about you would be too obvious, he should just compliment you a couple of times. He should compliment your looks and carefully observe your friend`s reaction. You can seriously improve your chances of becoming a sexy woman in your friend`s eyes yourself. Instead of the usual sweatpants you wear around him, start dressing up. Accentuate your femininity but do not overdo it. You can also mention other men, compliment them and mention their approaches to check if your friend seems jealous.

The final step: Let him know
If you are certain you can handle rejection and if your friend is not madly in love with another, you can directly let him know. This is especially true if his body language is closer to one of a partner than that of a friend. If he keeps hugging you, maybe even hits on you jokingly and compliments you, this can be just friendship but it could also be something more. Only confess your feelings once you are sure he is not just the flirt of the moment, which will soon pass. If you are deeply in love with a friend, hiding such feelings is very hard, so coming clean is really necessary. At least you will know his feelings on the matter. Wait for an opportune moment, take his hand, stroke him and if you are brave enough give him a kiss. Do not be too aggressive and do not jump him right away. Also, save yourself any deep explanations or even tearful explosions.

Such behavior might make him angry or panic and he will just start to see you as another of the panicky girls. Is it not better to remain friends or just acquaintances, than to completely lose control of your actions and all his respect with it? Talk to him, tell him what you feel and his response will soon be obvious from his face. Do not try to make him think about it, because feelings cannot be forced. In awkward moments, humor can be your savior and if he turns you down, do not make your situation worse and try to make him explain his feelings to you, because you will only burden him and hurt yourself by doing that.


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